M CANT CHANGE
M came out onto the balcony at his usual hour...dawn and was shocked at the sight that greeted him. The compound adjacent to the building he lived in, was bursting with activity. Two massive earth moving machines had taken up position to bulldoze the unused godown and a couple of tractors were waiting to be loaded up with the rubble. M just stood there astonished.
Every once in a while he would peep out to check on the progress of destruction while he got ready. He had his breakfast listening to the sound of the machines scraping the ground, removing the overgrown weeds and finally smashing the building. He left for his weekly shopping wondering what new construction was going to come up there.
That evening when he returned M stood on the balcony and surveyed the scene. The building was razed to the ground and there was rubble everywhere. The machines stood silent. M felt sad at what he saw. This backyard was a kind of silent friend. M had no friends. Whenever he was sad, worried or just wanted to think he would stand for hours and gaze at this barren piece of land, dotted with trees here and there, the highway on one end and banana fields at the other.
When he had moved into this appartment the godown was a busy one and always active till the late hours of night. In the beginning he had hated the flat, the noise....the roar of truck engines, the drivers shouting at each other...just hated it. But after a while he got used to it. One day the business ceased and only the building remained.
M saw how with the absence of humans, nature had become the temporary owner. He had seen an increase in eagles...from one bird there were now about twenty circling in the sky sighting prey, squirrels scampering around looking for food, egrets scrounging for insects and worms, rare sightings of peacocks and pea hens early in the morning and when the trees flowered even a host of colourful butterflies. Off late there were snakes as well due to the thick undergrowth and even huge fat rats. He wondered what would happen to these creatures once all the greenery was removed..
It was dark now and M proceeded to have his dinner. M toyed with his food, not eating. Everything was changing and changing too fast for him. New roads, new buildings, too many vehicles, too many offers and shops...consumerism was the word and M did not understand it. M also did not understand technology. He had always known that someday most of the houses and empty lands in town were going to be replaced with buildings. He just didn't want this empty land also to disappear under a concrete monstrosity. Two months back the entire stretch of road outside his building going into town was denuded of trees. Everybody said it was progress and development but M hated having his serene life's landscape being altered and invaded every now and then. After all he was an old man and he was finding it difficult to cope with constant changes however small, in his lonely, routine life. M let out a sigh and began eating.
While he ate he felt amused at the thought of over a hundred people living in two buildings with only a ten foot high wall separating them. He imagined people peeping and looking from across and staring into each others appartments and lives. Maybe friendships would be formed, love might blossom or even enemity might take root, but privacy would go for a six. People will be known by their acts and not names. M imagined himself looking at a man and thinking 'aah, thats the smoker on floor six' or 'she's the secret admirer of the young chap in my building' or 'thats the old man from floor three who keeps shouting at night'. M suddenly felt sick and ate his food in silence.
M set the alarm, got in bed and switched off the lights. He waited for sleep, sleep that for some hours would make him forget that he was unable to change, old to change. The world as he knew it was crumbling and he could only watch and then just move on. He was neither sad nor happy, he was just annoyed and helpless.

SIMPLY MADRAS
I am in an air conditioned railway car on my way to Madras, now renamed Chennai. Chennai....sounds so alien, so drab, so uninteresting. I dont know why the name had to be changed. Madras sounded so much better, so much full of character. Madras...the capital of Tamil Nadu, the city of long distances, scorching summers, strong coffee and the stinking Cooum, the city that lives in my heart. The name Madras brings back vivid memories in my life and as I lay on my berth, my thoughts oscillated between my childhood days and teenage years associated with Madras.
A trip to Madras was something my I looked forward to. I enjoyed being with my aunts and their families. Holidays with my aunts and cousins were times of merriment. We cousins used to play games all day and in the evenings we were taken to the marina beach where we wet our feet, played with the sand and gazed at the lighthouse. Madras was where I had first seen the ocean and was mesmerised by it. Then there were the day trips to nearby Mahabalipuram, a town with many temples. One memorable trip was the Madras Darshan, a government trip that took a busload of passengers all around Madras showing off its beaches, temples, the Government Museum. It was fun, though whether we learnt anything is doubtful. There was one time when my brother and I were both affected by an in-grown toe nail and we both had to be operated. There we were at my aunts place, both our toes bandaged and in pain. It was a hilarious sight. Madras has only given me smiles.
My mind fast forwarded to that day in Coimbatore when i decided to join an obscure college in Madras to do my business management. My aunts were my guardians. I can see in my minds eye the red diesel engine throbbing with power chugging slowly into Madras Central dragging the blue coaches behind it. This was no ordinary journey for it was my first journey alone and it marked the beginning of my college life.
I can see myself standing with my bag, shading my eyes with one hand against the bright sun and staring at the red exterior, the tall clock tower and the caps on each building. I can see the crowd hurrying all over the place, and me being mobbed by a multitude of drivers of taxis and rickshaws. I can still feel the stale and hot air, the sun scorching down, trying to burn everything. Even now as I recall that journey I am filled with excitement. I remember I had smiled and murmured 'Welcome to Madras'.
I spent two years in college...two hazy years...filled with images of nameless roads and streets, innumerable roadside eating joints, countless days and nights of drunken stupor, numerous hours of movies and music, endless discussions on myriad topics and death wish bike rides. The only constant in an ever changing landscape of memories were the faces of people, family, friends and strangers, those rare gems of people who decided to take the risk of holding my hand and considered me worthy. We became a group and in the two years of staying together we became a close knit gang. Every member shared their life...the past by telling, the present by sharing and the future by dreaming.
A shift in the scene...I am in Madras sitting in a car with my fiance at the wheel. Driving around the city, just the two of us, showing her my favourite places and reliving my earlier days. It just made me feel ecstatic and fortunate. I looked back at my relationship with Madras. It had been in limbo for over five years. I hardly visited anymore. It had rekindled ever since I met my fiance. Madras is her home. I just sat in the car and thought what Madras had given me. It had provided me with the happiest days of my life, a practical knowledge on the real world and a course on surviving on my own. Now it also gave me the love of my life. What more could I ask. Madras has forged a very special place in my heart. It is a city that has changed in many a way, but its a city that has always made me happy and god willing will continue to do so.